almost 5 am and i am still awake,
humming to a song of the corrs.

i still don't get it.

the spaces in between by ria osorio

while heading out today
i paused to feel the morning sunshine
on our busy street
and then I realized
that’s what you are you are
the reason that I’ve made it this far


 

probably something amazing.

today, i revisited a heartache. it's one of those you thought has gone very far away already but still surprisingly hurts.

dear God by avenged sevenfold

dear God, the only thing I ask of you
is to hold her when I'm not around, when I'm much too far away
we all need that person who can be true to you
but I left her when I found her and now I wish I'd stayed
cause I'm lonely and I'm tired, I'm missing you again oh no
once again

hellraiser by motorhead

words become too lame when it falls this late
all that's left are just hiccups,
because tears are ugly
they drip to the keyboard of the laptop
it makes you drink a lot of water
and you get puffy eyes the next day.

so at 2 in the morning, i listen to hellraiser by motorhead
haven't heard of this band before
but who cares?
maybe the rock music would make a difference
maybe not.

second to peace of mind
i wish i would run out of hurt
because it's tiring,
it just consumes all energy
ruins your sleeping pattern
and eventually, you die for bit.

in the meantime, steve vai is playing bad horsie
and i need another glass of water
and a tissue to wipe this keyboard with.

again, coffee

i stir my coffee
by the porch
and close my eyes for the wind on my face;
it's comforting,
like my daily dose of half-truths from you.

as always
i settle on the overrated,
on the things that hurt the most
on the things that make me feel alive.

then at night,
i fight these monsters.
i never win
but it goes on and on
and i end up sleeping with them.

it's a cycle that keeps going around
like coffee
being stirred.