to francis loyd

they say that there is no such thing as a mistake, just a lesson learned. because in every u-turn, in every work that needs redone, there is a lesson that needs to be learned so we don't do them again.

in your case, there was no lesson. it was simply a mistake.

i guess if there was only one regret in all this, it was the regret on how i have let this drag on this long. it was unfair.

it was a long bumpy ride that i held on to hoping it would get better all along but it didn't. it just tired me, all the hoping, but nothing really compensated on all the hurt. i got tired hoping.

i wish i could take it all back, demanding there should be some sort of remorse in all these, but the hurt just echoes back with more hurt, no sign of life to hope for.

i wish i could put all of these in writing and just walk away from all these casually, but the pain lingers on. God forgive me, but you are one case I could never get myself to forgive. i still pray for the strength to forgive but i never regret every single thing i said to you. i meant everything i said, even on the part that i said i hope you would die a slow painful death. even that would not suffice, but what are my options?

i should let this go. i know, i know.

but in the meantime, i should let this sink in. in time, i will forgive. in time.

but one thing makes sense for now. you were not worth all of it.